The Mortgage Jokebook

From: Ameen Kamadia

I need your help. I was recently looking for a mortgage joke book for some of my writings and I couldn't find one. Nor could I find any stories about loan officers, so I though it would be cool to put one together. Perhaps something like a Chicken Soup for the Loan Officer Soul or something.

That is where I need your help. I need your stories, jokes, sayings, and anything funny or uplifting that relates to our industry. This can include things that have happened to you, your associates, clients, etc, that are funny, odd, or bizarre.

If you have something to submit please send it to me at ameen (at)

If your piece is selected, we will make sure you get proper credit as the author or submitter.

It's a great way to share the joy of mortgage brokerage with others. And it's a great way to get your name in print.

So if you have a story, hear one, or remember anything that you feel others in the biz would get a chuckle from, please send it in.

In the meantime, here's one that is making the rounds:

A Loan Officer died and met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates to present himself for admittance to Heaven.

Peter said, "You did a lot of good helping people get into homes and you donated a lot to charity. You even worked on that Habitat house. But you told too many fibs to the underwriters and were very unkind to both your processor and office staff.

We aren't sure where you're going to, we've decided to show you around both Heaven and Hell and see where you feel comfortable."

As they toured Heaven, the Loan Officer really liked the big mansions and the streets paved with gold, but the harp music did get on his nerves a little.

Then, when they showed him around Hell, he noticed everyone had their choice of playing golf or tennis, hanging out by the pool smoking and drinking, or dancing and playing cards in the clubhouse. He told St. Peter…"Oh, this is going to be hard! Can I sleep on it?"

So he was allowed to think it over during the night. The next morning they asked him for his decision. He quickly replied, "Oh please send me to Hell!"

They opened up the doors of Hell, but the whole picture had changed! It was just like you have always heard with lots of fire and brimstone. People were burning and being tortured and screaming! Oh, it was so hot and horrible!!

"Hey that's not what you showed me yesterday!!" the Loan Officer cried.

St. Peter's reply was cold and abrupt: "I know, you should have 'locked it' in yesterday."

Author Unknown

Happy Originating!




Add Your Own
Your Name:
Word Above: